Saturday, January 22, 2011

Hi my name is Amber and I'm crazy

Hello! I haven't posted in a few days and needed to update. In my last post I told y'all that TOM decided to show up and rain on my weight loss parade. You see, TOM and I do not get along! He makes me grouchy, sleepy, emotional, and worst of all snack! I've been doing great this week until last night. I decided I would make meatloaf last night. Inwas good and used ground turkey. I also had butter beans. Ok, what's so bad about that you ask? Nothing really. But, yes there's a but, I ate THREE pieces of it! Three without even thinking! Then when I was in the store, my favorite chips were on sale for a one day sale. Ruffles brand cheddar and sour cream. Yea, my favorite chips on sale for 99 cents staring me in the face. I said, "amber, don't do it.". Then the fatter menaaid, "girl you can eat crackers no problem. If you chew them really well they'll go right down. Besides, you'll only eat a couple and that's nothing compared to what you've been eating." So there I was having a staredown with the chips. TOM whispered in my ear, "you know it's ok, just a little treat and you haven't cheated yet" so I grabbed those damn chips and checked out. I was ashamed about it but didn't care. I got in the car and ate one and it did go down no trouble. I had a total of five which is nothing but still, I cheated. I went to bed, without exercising mind you, and lied there in bed pisses off. Oh I was pissed! I watched tv and I cried at everything that came on. I felt like a psycho! I've been so grouchy and cry baby like this whole period. I don't know what's going on bc I've never been like this. Oh well. I woke up today and said I'm not going to cheat again. It was my one downfall and I'm not doing it again. I'm going to start exercising again bc TOM should be getting the heck out of here any minute now. I'm also up 0.6 pounds this week and I blame it on TOM and my shameless chips. I hope the rest of you are doing good. I go in for my first fill Thursday. I'm really nervous. I've lost good but I can still eat anything I want (clearly) and the reason I'm not overdoing it is simply bc I'm stopping myself. I read of people whose band won't even let them eat certain foods. I just wonder what mine will be like. Hmm, oh well. I'm still down 20.2 pounds so I'm ok with that. I blame it on TOM. Eff off Tom! Have a great weekend everyone!

3 comments:

  1. I was able to eat anything too until I got another fill. I am getting smacked in the face each time I try and eat something that I used to be able to get down. TOM is a pain and I understand the whole fighting not to snack while it is on. I get tired sometimes of listening to my fat self constantly trying to get me of my track. I think you are doing really well and I would not have stopped at 5 chips!

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  2. Wow, I can't believe you only ate 5 chips. Those are my favs too and I eat half a bag at a sitting...well pre-lapband anyway..I'm on mushies still now, so I don't have a choice yet. I think you should be proud of yourself!

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  3. Yea I'm nervous as to how I'm going to feel after the fill. I wonder if I'll be able to eat anything. Oh well, that's why I got this thing in the first place right? Yea I'm glad I only stopped at 5. I was amazed. Oh mom, I hope you're nearly through with mushies for your sake. That was the hardest stage for me. It was great immediately after liquids but the closer I got to real food the worse it got! I hope you two are doing great! I like to think that I'm doing good and hope I can do even better!

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